Lara/22/Australia
I'm completing my Bachelor of Education (Primary and Middle) with Honours, and this semester I'm required to keep up to date with reflections of my learning, understanding, and progress as I prepare for a research project, my final prac, and attempting to get a job.
These are my thoughts.
… still terrifies me.
It’s been a while since my last post. Since finishing my prac and final assignments I have:
So I’ve officially finished all of my core content subjects for my Bachelors, Passed everything first go (with plenty of HDs in there), and now the only things standing between me and graduating is my Honours Thesis, which I’m completing as my electives in the degree.
I feel very lost though. I feel almost certain that being a teacher is not for me. There are so many things I love about working with children, but I definitely don’t feel passionate enough to deal with all the garbage that school teachers are expected to put up with, and I know that it is not in my personality to take the job of a full-time teacher. While I was on prac, I saw myself turning into a person that I just couldn’t stand, and while I learned so much from that experience, I feel like it became more and more obvious that I cannot do that job.
I don’t know what this means. I desperately need the money, and I could earn so much more from working as a teacher than anything else I’m qualified to do. But should I do it for that reason when I recognise I have no love for that job? I don’t want to turn bitter and resentful and be doing a job just because I have the degree.
Maybe I’m just weak and scared and that’s what’s stopping me.
Maybe I first need to learn to take care of myself before deciding what I need to do. Because right now, I don’t feel like I’ll be able to succeed at anything.
