Lara/22/Australia
I'm completing my Bachelor of Education (Primary and Middle) with Honours, and this semester I'm required to keep up to date with reflections of my learning, understanding, and progress as I prepare for a research project, my final prac, and attempting to get a job.
These are my thoughts.
Today I finished my first week of prac. I was hoping to reflect every day, but didn’t get around to it. So I shall do it now.
I am a naturally hesitant person, who is terrified of doing the wrong thing. I think this works against me in my practical school experience. I feel like my mentors see me as a burden, and as not very competent or confident, though they would never say it.
I started the week, a wreck, because of an assignment due, and thus not completing my planning in time, then submitting the assignment on time but unfinished, and leaving my plans at home, then staying up late and waking up early to get to school before anyone else to set up… By my lesson on Wednesday, I was wrecked and so nervous, but it went wonderfully and it boosted my confidence considerably.
But today I had the other teacher today. He is brilliant with the kids, has very firm beliefs about managing kids, and what makes a good and bad teacher, and has had so much experience. I really feel I have not done a good job presenting myself in a positive way to him. Being a different teacher than I’ve worked with all week, there was many miscommunications, the day was full of disruptions and I was left generally having no idea what to do - which lead to the reflection on myself about being so hesitant.
There was also a thing about a parent sending a scathing letter about something that upset my teachers a little, and also I had to have a photo taken for the paper and it turned into something of a 1/2 hour photo shoot with kids and posing in bunch of different places, cutting into class time. I feel awful about that, though people assured me it was fine (and it was approved by the principal etc) because it ended up being quite the centre of attention and I feel like people thought I was quite up-myself, or really enjoying the attention, or purposefully attracting the attention…. but it’s so different… I did it as a favour for a lady I know, and didn’t realise all that it would involve. And it’s just so important to me that people don’t see me as some primadonna, or some attention-seeker etc.
It’s so interesting how things end up. Next week will be better.
